I love you

I came across one of my cssukm friends blog (*Lydia de…) and while laughing my hearts out reading those entries about “the arts of teaching”, something made all the ketawa sorang-sorang stopped. It was the Mariah Carey’s bye bye song. The lyrics instantly shift me back to the memories I had with my late uncle Daniel who died last March. Thus, this entry will be a recollection of him.

Uncle Tom warned me not to put this pic. Malu bah his not-so-small-stomach jadi tontonan umum (29 November 1970 – 12 March 2008)

Dearest Uncle Dinil,
Guess there will be no one who will scold me anymore when I drink beer huh? I was really pissed off when you scolded me in front of my friends. I even called you hypocrite since you yourself a heavy drinker deh. I’m sorry. I never get the chance to say sorry to you as I don’t want to lower down my pride and ego. I’m sorry. I really am.

Still remember 14 years ago? When both of my front teeth patah and how severe you tortured me with all the ejekan? I won’t forget that. And I miss that a lot. I love you.You used to tease your youngest brother, Terrence by calling him names. You called him “Unkele”. Remember? And you called me "Shipokngi"(*Penyibuk + wangi. I'm flattered. You think I'm a japanese ka?)

Still remember the times when my friends and I said Cyprian, your only son and Lee from Blue, looks much alike? And you mati-mati denied it? We talked about it outside the church. Remember?

You always wanted to trade your handphone with mine. And I will always say “Enggai aku!!!! Mar handphone aku tok…” When you bought new one, you will boast around. I hate it. =) If I knew you're going to go there sooner, I will be more than willing to trade mine with yours. If only I knew.

Our family seldom takes picture together, rarely I would say. Do you know how much we regret it? We always took for granted. Balik-balik cakap, haih…lain kali la ambil gambar. Tomorrow masih ada… So ironic kan? Tomorrow maybe ada dan maybe takkan ada. Only God knows.

For your information lah (* I guess you know already la kan?), I’ve graduated last August. I wish you were here to celebrate with us. But my result sucks la. Below 3. You always ask me to chia you minum when I got the job kan? Yes, I’m working already, as a relief teacher in bandar. How I wish we can drink together at Nyelong, with you ordering "kopi o ngalak" and me "mintai peng". Miss those days. Don't you?

Did you know last week, Uncle Tom, your buntuk brother menang toto? He even prepared bbq. Your favourite Carlsberg and Jugam pun ada. Langkau lagilah ada. Langkau was the king of the night.

Next year, Cyprian is going to stay with Aunty Mary. That's the best for him kan? At least got aunty to look after him. Martha and Vivian and aunty, they are going back to Sungai Asap. Going to stay there next year as well. Pray for them ya. Give them your abundant blessings.

Ini, she always cries you know, kesian I see her. Well, as usual she and aki got gaduh-gaduh sayang. Recently, the pig that they reared, was stolen. Do you know who did such thing? Neither do we. So sayang oo, the babi was pregnant lagi tu. If we sell those piglets, maybe ada la dalam RM5oo. Can buy boxes of langkau already neh?

There’s so much more to say. If you were here with me now, I will tell you how much I love you. I love u. I love u. I love u. It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever. We miss you every now and then. We are trying not to cry while talking about you. Trying not to recall back how much you suffer, but old the good memories. Hope you’ve reached a better place. We will always remember you in our prayer. Love you!

May perpetual light shine upon him and may he rest in peace.
Amen.

Mariah's Bye bye song:
This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady

Put your hand way up high

We will never say bye (no, no, no)

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins

This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers

Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were then times

I didn't get it but you kept me in line

I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes

On sunday mornings and "I missed you"

but I'm glad we talked through

All them grown folk things

Separation brings You never let me know it

You never let it show

because you loved me and obviously

There's so much more left to say

If you were with me today face to face

[ Chorus: ]

I never knew I could hurt like this

And everyday life goes on

"I wish I could talk to you for a while"

miss you but I try no to cry

As time goes by

And it's true that you've reached

a better place

Still I'd give all the world to see your face

And be right here next to you

but it fells like you're gone to soon

now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

And you never got a chance to

see how good I've done

And you never got to see me back at number one

I wish that you were here to celebrate together

I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night

With the Teddy Bear you gave

me that I held so tight

I thought you were so strong

you'd make it through whatever

It's so hard to accept the fact

you're gone forever

[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/LueX ]